My body image is improving, I think. Ilea brought the dvd of our show in August to class tonight. I was really terrified to watch it, not just because I was nervous to see what I looked like dancing, I was nervous of what I was going to see just in myself. That's terrifying to me, like unleashing this merciless beast of a perfectionist onto myself, from myself. But it wasn't so bad. In fact, I was kind of put off by the thin-ness of my arms, I thought they looked too stick-like and I actually thought they could use to PUT ON some weight. So that's good. I'm very proud of myself and all of the girls I dance with. We really did put on a pretty good show.

I go teach my second class tomorrow, I still feel so unprepared and unqualified, but I also feel a strong sense of duty about it, so I'm definitely not backing out. I at least owe it to everyone to finish Beg. one, and I promised I'd stick with them if they wanted more after that, so I will. I have a feeling I'll just learn to feel more qualified with time. This is actually a HUGE learning experience for me, and I feel like it's making me a better dancer (not to mention person in general) already. I was so exhausted after teaching my first class, I had no idea how much work it is. Everyone makes it look so easy. 

I'm taking another workshop this weekend in Baton Rouge with Shamsi. 

Apparently there's this guy from Walmart (bad sign already) who has been bugging and bugging Drew to let him hang out with me. Drew doesn't like him, also a bad sign. He found my myspace and wrote me today. Not sure what to do with that one yet. I really don't want another reason to have to avoid Walmart again right now. Hopefully this will all just blow over soon. 

Since we're talking about relationships and things right now, things with Steven and I are getting a little more serious, I think. I'm not sure what "serious" means though. We're still friends, but it's like...it's like we're really only being friends out of circumstance which makes it all feel forced, or not forced, like...held back. I'm not very sure what to make of anything. The thing is, whether I want to admit it or not (whether it's smart or stupid or good or bad, or not any of that at%