A lot has happened these past few days that I do not feel quite ready to go into yet, so I'm going to focus on the positive, yesterday: The Ansuya Show! The theme for Trybe Habibi Bizarre was supposed to be kind of punked out, so we wore plaid skirts over our dance pants and did crazy hair and wore a lot of black too. We totally stood out from everyone else at the show. All of the performers there were amazing, but I have to say ours was one of my favorites. It was all improvisational, with a big chorus line in the back, and girls coming in and out of it to dance in the middle. We started with a slow, slow more traditional sounding song with flute and drum (off of Solaces Moon Moth Mixes CD) in it...and then BAM! came in Depeche Mode's "Strange Love". It was great. Everyone just fed off of each other and it was really fun to be involved in, the audience had a great time. I'm sure it was fun to watch because it was all so raw and exciting.

And then came Ansuya, and I have to say she's one of the most beautiful women I've ever had the pleasure of meeting. Her smile and her down-to-earth personality were just so contageous. I felt very relaxed meeting her, and she signed programs and took pictures with us like it was nothing even though there was a huge line, and that made me very happy. Her dancing was so beautiful and...charming. Like everyone was smiling. Ilea was standing near me to watch (all the tribal girls stood up for her performance and cheered really loudly, haha, we stuck out so badly, it was a really nice fancy schamcy place) and I could have sworn I saw tears in her eyes. I know there were a few in mine. Ansuya's move were all so muscular and energetic. My mom told me watching her she had to hold her breath, because she was sure that Ansuya was going to hurt herself, her moves were so precise and strong. You could see the muscle working under her skin, and yet there was this softness to her...on her arms and belly and legs. She still kept her femininity, and had a curvy figure. At one point she got on one of the tables and started dancing, she pointed to all of us because we were going crazy zagahreeting for her. She danced to four numbers. I was proud because I knew and owned every song she danced to (ha, music nerd).
Her stage presence and eye contact with the audience were the most breath taking out of all of it.

We all had a really good night. Even when we went to Desert Dance Studio to practice all together before the show there was this bond and this closeness you could feel in the air. We were all doing each others hair, spraying glitter on each other, flashing each other...haha. It was great. And the thing is that there's this huge amount of trust in each other when we go on stage having no idea exactly what's going to happen, but we're never too worried because we have each other's backs. We're a tribe. 

I was so nervous during the dinner show at the beginning, I had lost my appetite and was weary of eating half naked and everything. When everyone got up for food, it was just me sitting at the table alone not eating and Becky came up to me and grabbed my hand and said we should go get food together. And we did, and I ate and enjoyed myself and it was really nice. I appreciate all my girls so much. I really needed last night. 

So tomorrow I go straight back to class, we're starting veil work next Monday, so tonight will be the last night of just goofing around and dancing. After class tomorrow night we'll practice more tribal with Ilea for about an hour. And then Tuesday I teach the first official class of Beg I. So this week should be pretty full of more dancing. I just want to pocket the feeling I get on stage and carry it around with me everywhere.