Spending another night at the bookstore, could be much worse though. I really appreciate the comments and support, it helps a lot and gives me better perspective on things. I hope everyone else is doing all right. I've basically been forced to live off of french fries and soda for the past three days, and it's made me feel so angry. I have a lot of misguided anger at others and myself right now. It's made me not want to have much contact with the world, and I think a few of my friends have taken it personally. Of course, I know they'd prefer it if I just told them about these things. But that's the complicated part. It feels almost physically painful to speak about things like how upset I've been about my body and my eating these past few days. It's embarassing to me because I feel like I should be beyond that right now...and because I know what they'll say "you're beautiful" "you're wrong to think that" "nothing but french fries isn't going to make you gain weight, and you'd look fine if you did gain weight". I get it. I know. But it's so frustrating to hear, basically I feel like there's nothing anyone can say right now. Which is why I don't bother to bring it up to them because it embarasses me and makes me feel like there's no point. There's nothing anyone can say, it's something I have to believe myself.