I had my session with Dr. Brillart yesterday. The only personal things I really talked to him about were how I still feel a lot of pressure and hurt because it seems like I'm alone in this. It seems like no one else really wants to be healthy. We talked about Polly.

I have this crazy idea. Really, I'm sure people would find me insane. But I keep waiting. I keep waiting for someone else to do it. I don't want to do it. I want someone else to stand up and scream no, no we're not living this way anymore. I'm waiting for someone else to start a revolution. Because we don't even realize how much power we have. I'm waiting and I see the whole crowd mentality going on. We're all so much...happier? being miserable and unhealthy and doing what the media says.

I'm waiting for someone to take a hammer to that glass veil of happiness and I'm waiting for someone to live without reserve. But it hasn't happened.

And the little voice says, "You do it."

And somedays i feel so crazy I think I just might.

I miss him.