I'm afraid that today wasn't so good. Who am I fooling? I'm happy that I got away with not eating, and that makes me ashamed. And I did eat. Not enough though. I've had a very stressful day.

I had a burger for lunch (good). And then nothing else at all today which isn't good. And now it's past midnight and I'm not hungry but I have to eat. But if I do, what if I throw it up? I'm scared because my emotions feel out of my hands. I care about someone so much right now. 

This is starting to feel like love, this feeling. I really care about them, and it makes me ache everywhere. I'm so angry at myself for caring, I just want it all to go away.

We drove for about twenty minutes listening to music saying nothing. I felt so at peace and safe and wanted it to be like that forever. I don't know what's wrong. I can't do this. I can't care, and I just can't stop this. This depression about it, the obsession about it.