So Ceslie tried to kill herself. Right now I have no idea if she's alive or not. I stayed on the phone with her pretty late, but in the end I had to sleep. Funny that I finally get some sleep the night my best friend is trying to commit suicide. I will never forgive her if she succeeds. I will never forgive her if she didn't decide to wait and try for me, for her family. Because I've stayed and I've been working my ass off for her and them.

And what am I supposed to do without a best friend? What, are things too tough, too painful, too boring for her so she feels she can up and leave me hanging like this? It's convienient for her yeah...she wouldn't have to suffer anymore, she could leave it all on me and the people who care about her to deal with. Leave us with our pain and then pile on some more. I love her, and I don't ever want that to be taken for granted.

I will have to wait and see what happens. I will have to wait.