I think it was due to stress about my appoitment today that I binged and purged in the wee hours of the morning. Because I have a head cold and a terrible sore throat, this didn't feel too good. But it was something I felt I just had to do.

I'm so afraid that the specialist will take one look at me and think that I'm too fat to be anorexic or something. I don't want to be weighed, I don't want anyone to analyze me, and I definitely don't want someone to tell me what I've been doing wrong. I guess I'll be going to this appoitment with some bias, but who wouldn't?

Anyway, I can barely talk, my throat is so bad. And my head feels like it weighs a ton. My mom said that I could rescheduale since I'm sick but for some reason I just want to do this. I've stressed out and put myself down enough, it's time I got this over with.