Well, I was really close. This seems to be routine for me, post something hopeful, and then post again a while later with bad news. I swear, I'm not trying to do that. Anyway, I purged a bit, but not until a few minutes ago so I held out for a long while and purged what I could. I would say I couldn't help it, but I could've. So, I just wanted to get that off my conscience.

Dr. Brillart asked me where I saw myself in the future. Did I see myself as healthy and better? There's the million dollar question. But...maybe that doesn't matter. It doesn't matter where I see myself in the future. What matters is what I'm doing now because...that's what's going to affect tomorrow anyway, right? 

You know what? I don't think I want to be thin that much anymore. I'd much rather be happy. I used to think they were the same thing. They're probably not. Too bad I'll never let myself know.