I promised myself I wouldn't get upset in this post. I'm getting sick of myself reading my blog, haha. I read it and feel like I'm reading the blog of an idiot. Anyway, I just wanted to let everyone know that this is the first week that I won't be seeing my therapist. I was nervous because that would mean I'd have more crap to have to tell him about when I do see him next, also...I always feel like if I ever take anything too far, someone's out there who knows what kind of help I need. I don't trust him, not at all. But I do trust him to follow the rules, to keep my buisness private. And I trust him to shut up and be quiet when I'm talking. I also appreciate his patience with my dirty, loud mouth in our sessions.

I am not a rebellious, typical teenager in that I even pretend to act like no one understand or that grown ups = BAD. No, I find that pathectically dumb and predictable. I'm tired of all the little girls at my school and my friends who think it's great to broadcast to the world about their "eating disorders". Meanwhile I will keep trying for health, I will keep smiling, I will not be predictable, and I will do something with my life. That's my approach to all of this. I've decided to not bother with caring about them anymore. Isn't that cruel, I don't care about my friends. Well, I actually do, to some extent. But I don't let them affect me. They are people to talk to, they are people to cheer me up, they are people I trust more than others, and they are people who I would take a bullet for. But when they are pointing the guns at themselves I don't care.

I have myself and my own life threatening drama to worry about. I'm tired of that people who are actually TRYING for an eating disorder. I mean, come on, get over yourself and let it go. It's your decision but I'm tired of it. And I'll say what I very well please. I don't care if what I have to say is supposedly offensive. People all over the world have tried to be politically correct and unoffensive for too long and look where it's gotten us.

Anyway, I just wanted to post this becasuse my blog entries have been...weak as of late and I just wanted to let you guys know that I'm not going anywhere.