I'm not going into work today, I'm trying to get out of class, I don't want to be around people, it's too exhausting. I got a call back for the movie I went to audition for on Monday. I wrote Claire and told her what's been going on with me, I told her everything I could think of that I'd been keeping from her for fear that she would be disgusted. She hasn't written me back. I'm going to get into bed and tell myself it makes me feel better to lay there.

I wouldn't have any problems if I could learn to count my blessings. I looked at myself in the mirror last night and it all fell to pieces. I can stop counting calories and close my eyes when the doctor weighs me, but I can't get away from myself.