Tuesday I became extremely depressed. I had a binge and purge session which of course threw me into a deeper depression. But I'm glad to say that yesterday, Wednesday, I ate a normal, healthy amount of food and kept it all down. There was a second there where I could feel it coming back up, and almost started throwing up, but I took a deep breath, and distracted myself. Sometimes doing that is easier than others. When I'm really upset or feeling out of control, it's harder to control the need to purge. It's still possible though, I just have yet to do it.

So I may be teaching a bellydance class in a month or so! Scary, right? Me...teaching. It's kind of like a dream come true, and I could use the money. I can see myself having my own student troupe and being like the mamma of all my students and it would be great. It would definitely provide me with a healthy goal and a good distraction from self harmful thoughts. I'm just terrified that it's too soon, that I shouldn't be doing it, maybe I won't be a good teacher and no one will get it. But there's that doubtful voice again that goes and ruins everything.