Had a purging issue the day before yesterday, I ended up throwing up in the shower. Of course, I did a million times better yesterday. And today I'm going to go with my family to pick up one of my best friends Rachael in New Orleans. I don't know how to explain how comforting that is to me...it's going to be like having a little piece of security of "the old times" with me, but she's also growing and changing along with me and my other friends, so it will be a good reminder that the present times are just as good in their own way, if not better. I had a really awesome time hanging out with Brandon tonight and I did not feel as embarassed about myself as I did last time about the whole issue with Jacob. I felt a lot more happy and it was a good time.

And I haven't heard from Ceslie since right before her plane flight yesterday, I sent her a text message and she didn't reply. I keep praying that she's just really busy and having an awesome time in London and that everything is okay. I hope that she gets in touch with me soon because I'm worried.

I'm really grateful that I'm alive. Because I know that I've got time to do amazing things, if I want to take that chance. I have to do what I want to do, not what's not going to upset people. And I'm thinking...I'm dropping out and getting my G.E.D. and I'm going to keep bellydancing and just see where everything takes me. I'm not looking for anything in particular...and I don't need to have a set plan to do great things, just trust in myself that I can do them.