I can't sleep. I've gained some weight. No, I did not weigh myself. It's just that crazy, paranoid feeling you get, you know? And that my pants are continuing to not fit. I really should throw out all my old clothes that don't fit, that's an old part of me that's over. That chapter is finished in my life. I have to keep repeating that to myself.

The Saturday after this one is the Bellydance Festival in Baton Rouge, and we'll be performing for the first time without a teacher or anything. It's going to scary and a really great experience. When I went to the workshop in New Orleans with Fat Chance Belly Dance, it was really refreshing and uplifting to be with women of all shapes and sizes coming together with love for the dance and for themselves. It takes confidence and a certain attitude and passion to be a good dancer, I think. I'm working on it.

When I bellydance, I feel like a different person. I don't feel like I have a body, if that makes sense. Or maybe it's that I suddenly let my body and spirit become one...instead of objectifying and seperating myself from my body, I sort of embrace it.

Either way, we have a three hour practice and dress rehearsal tomorrow to look forward to. So I better get a few hours of sleep in now while I have the chance.
I ate taco bell today. It was good.