Last night was difficult. I guess what my problem is that I can't get over a few things. I don't know why I couldn't sleep or why I couldn't do anything but almost cry. You know when you're trying to cry but all that happens are these dry heaves, and you end up making really stupid faces instead until your mouth starts to hurt.

There are some things I can't understand. I really need to see Spencer. I just hurt a lot, and I hate what I look like. I really need to see him or I don't know...I'm really going to just explode or break. Or worse - nothing. Nothing. Nothing.
I don't know where to go from here.