I saw my therapist two days ago, and I kind of just let a lot out. I realized that all this time I've been so afraid he'd be disappointed in me, so I'd exagerate progress and "forget" to mention the setbacks in my recovery. So I let him know about my little binge and purge episode, and about how on Saturday I almost went the whole day without eating again. It's scary how what seems like a little decision can change everything.

I think that right now I'm getting blindsighted by things that really aren't that important. I keep basing my days around an emotion due to insecurity and I keep living based on a dream that has been proven to me that is not only unattainable, it's not something that will ever make me happy.

I think I'm going to put together a playlist of songs that have helped me out, or that I can just plain relate to as far as my eating disorder goes. I know I've mentioned it before, but I think I'm really going to try this time.