This past week has been really confusing as far as weight and eating goes. I've been really stressed out and questioning a lot of things in my life...important, life changing things. I wish I could use that as an excuse for eating dinner and then immediately throwing it up. As if I haven't spent so long working on not doing that...it's frustrating that it came so easily. Just one second. Just one second was all it took to just twist everything around.

I should tell my therapist about this. I think I may call him or something and tell him I need an alternative plan...I need more help than I'm getting. I've been so afraid to do that because I've always felt so undeserving and inferior in a lot of aspects in my life. So even though it's ironic...I don't even feel good enough for a disease that causes you to not ever feel good enough. I don't know if that makes sense, but yeah. I can't do this alone anymore.