Two cheeseburgers are nothing. Two cheeseburgers were used as fuel and energy for belly dancing tonight. Two cheeseburgers do not define me as a person, and have nothing to do with my self worth. Or so most would say. So two cheeseburgers for the day...should not bother me.

Anyway. 

I am currently working on making a song list of music that I can deeply relate to when it comes to my eating disorder/recovery/relapse/self conciousness. Most of the songs...well basically all of them really, don't have anything to do with eating disorders. But when I listen to them, they always help me relate to what I am going through.

Here is one of the songs that first comes to mind when I'm on edge or feel the need to relapse back into old habits...and my old life.

"Again" - Tapping the Vein

I am wearing this weight again
It cuts like it did then
It's consuming all my thoughts
And swallowing me again

And what you see is what's left of me
But I'm here
I didn't think I'd scare very easily
But I fear this thing

It is wearing me out and thin
Paralyzing me again
It was vicious all the way here
I am barely alive

And what you see is what's left of me
But I'm here
I didn't think I'd scare very easily
But I fear this

And I wish you love
With anyone else but me
And I wish you love with anyone

And all I can do I will do for you
If I'm here
I promise you I'll remember you
While I'm here

And I wish you love
With anyone else but me
And I wish you love with anyone

And I wish you love again
And I wish you love again
I am surrendering me
Surrendering mine