I used to try and keep myself so busy that I wouldn't find time to eat or focus on "trivial things like hunger". Now, it's the exact opposite. I'm so busy all the damn time and I try to use that in a way to keep myself distracted from huge things like triggers, unhealthy thoughts, putting myself down, and relapsing. The latter is a bit more difficult than anything else I've ever tried to accomplish.

I wish I had the time, which I don't, to go into detail about my night last yesterday. But I really don't. Basically belly dancing has once again saved my friggin' life. I have never experienced anything more unifying and empowering than this. I'm moving on to the next level of belly dance. Last night I finished my last class of level three. So now we start learning huge choreographies and performing at events bigger than just haflas. We get to start a troup. Which is all I'm even a little bit used to right now. What a way to feel important and beautiful and talented. What a way to feel like a decent person.

I think if women would just try to do something selfish for themselves that did not involve the media or self hate, it would make a world of a difference.

So anyway. I'm a busy chick right now.

Wake up in the morning idealy early and do school work/studying/projects until around three. Go to work until only (thank god) around seven. Monday is belly dancing class after that. Tuesday is yoga. Wednesday and Thursday more belly dancing. Friday nights are usually free though.

It's hard to keep in touch with everyone though. I'm usually not fed and done with school and classes and work until around nine pm. Not enough to time to communicate with even half the people I need to.

Not enough to time to focus on the self doubt and uneasiness and fear about health and this work that it is. So it usually all comes spilling over in a breakdown eventually after being bottled up for so long.