Too many people expect too many things from me...this hurts so much. Markus won't stop. He reads my poetry, calls me every day and says all these nice things. Keeps saying he wants to be with me. What the hell am I supposed to do? I want people to stop liking me, stop screwing up everything.

He just texted me again and I'm scared. I'm afraid because he's getting angry again and jesus, what am I supposed to do? I don't want to hurt his feelings. I don't want to hurt Ceslie's feelings, but everything I say does. And when it's not that, she's hurting mine. And Peter and Audrey and Jacob and Claire and Brandon and all the people at school who keep writing me and saying they'll miss me and how could I leave them? I don't know how I could leave them, damnit! I'm not the bad guy here. I hurt just as much, if not more, than they do about this. They'll still get to see each other everyday. ALREADY people are ignoring me, I'll be such an outcast by the end of the semester. And it hurts.

It hurts that I can't ever post anything freaking positive on this damn journal.

And I can't stop eating, I'm huge and my best friend is losing weight. I feel like a horrible person.

And I wish people stopped expecting so much from me, especially myself.

He just texted me two more times.