Sweet Jesus. These past few weeks have been so, so, so, SO amazingly hard. I saw my therapist again, he and I talked it out and both agreed that homeschool would be best for me right now (the other option being flunking out). I spent a good few days crying it all out, trying to decide how to tell my friends, worrying over how they would respond. I don't know.

Had some very, very painful talks with my best friend. We are neither good nor bad right now, I think, we just are. And I kind of like it like that, you know?

Christmas is so close. I don't have anything for my mom. At all.

I spent almost every day of this past week logging onto this site...sitting there staring at the empty text box, wanting to write something, wanting to just empty it all out, tell you guys how much pain I've been in. But the words don't come out because I've been ashamed. I feel like I can't do anything right.

My mom and I got into it last night. She expressed how I'm a screw-up at life. And I took it okay until she left, I didn't want her to see me cry.

I promise not to take so long at updating anymore, it really hasn't done me any good to stay away from this site, honestly.

On the brighter side, I just had a real Mountain Dew, not diet. Delicious.