I just got back from Texas. I had an amazing time, and froze my ass off.

I think there's something wrong with me. Haha...well, of course there is. I've never met a person who didn't have a few things wrong with them. I'm obsessed with the song "White Houses" by Vanessa Carlton right now. I used to hate that song. But now I can relate to it, and I don't know. I think I've changed too much.

I know things never happen at the right time for anyone. Timing is always off because we can't control it, nothing ever happens perfectly, or at a good time for someone. It's always wrong. And I'm changing so fast. I'm feeling things I don't know how to concieve. I'm hungering for things I didn't know were possible. And things that seemed wrong and scary are becoming a huge possibility. And I'm so excited and terrified at the thought of a tomorrow just like today, only new. Different. I'm different. I can't pinpoint one emotion or situation within myself.

I can't tell what I feel, but it's something. Something is there and warm inside me and I can feel her dying, hurting, shrieking inside of me. It's terrible and it's painful. And i can feel a new, bright eyed girl trying to push her way up. And the real me is numb and doesn't want to do this, doesn't want to give anything up. And I feel as though I'm watching it all happen from outside.

My period came last night. I'm not pregnant. And I'm not starving to death.
It's the little things...