I am doing sooo much better, I think. I'm having an after school snack, and then I get to go to belly dancing! I keep hoping that if I do so many things that I never get a chance to stop and think about it and look at myself, then I'll never have time to panic about my weight, or the fact that my stomach is huge. The point is that I'm alive so I'm not going to let anything stop me.

Oh, I went to a party, like I said I was going to, and it was awesome. Amazing even. Because I drank normal soda (not diet) which tasted so strange and I was so proud of myself. And I ate cookies and chips and laughed and it was great.

I have this new goal that if I work really, really hard, someday I'm going to be an awesome person, and everyone will look at me and think, 'wow, she's really living her life', no more pity.