And I've been thinking about all the things I want to do lately. It's getting harder to purge because of the fear, and the actual desire not to. It's getting harder to skip meals because sometimes it hits me: I want to live.

I think my little sister found one of my notebooks full of diet plans and all of that, I found it open in her room. I want to burn it now because that is just...madness. There is no reason to put yourself through that! And I want to believe and love myself because I know that there's so much I could do, so many interesting people I could love if I'd just learn to love myself.