Unfortunately I haven't written in a while because of the relapse I'd fallen into (and been in denial about). I was using my job to not eat. I wouldn't eat anything between school and work, and then I'd go without food till around nine and then I'd come home exhausted, bathe, and sleep. I feel really, really sick. Serves me right, huh? This thing is so sneaky, it's crazy. This sickness, which...is really me which means that I'm quite sneaky. Sneaky about killing myself.

Oh, and I think the rupture in my throat or whatever has cleared up, didn't have to see a doctor after all. Yay. Oh, and I decided today that I don't love Ned, I just wanted him because I couldn't have him. I love Ceslie like a soul sister. lol That sounds funny to say out loud. She's been so good to me, I feel like I keep shoveling out crap to her, so I'm trying to really hard to be there for her and to be in a good mood because she has a rough life, you know? I have problems that I've inflicted upon myself.

Anyway, I am so excited about my bellydancing classes! They have been so inspirational and confidence boosting. I reccomend them to anyone who's feeling down on themselves because seriously, this stuff works like magic.