So my weight has stayed the same since yesterday. Had an apple and some yogurt today, and tomorrow I go back to school. My throat hurts so badly, it hasn't stopped since yesterday morning. I think I'm going to try to organize a diet plan to stick to tomorrow and the rest of the week because it seems like I do better when I know what I'm going to have for the day.

So I've been putting off a lot of things. I've been wanting to make a list of reasons I dislike and like myself (kinda like pros and cons on a personal level) but the thought is frightening so I've avoided getting to it.

I just recently was watching the documentary "I'm a Child Anorexic" and I still think it's very good. It's been my third time watching it. But for some reason it is still so hard to relate to, I always hope it will help me, open my eyes. But I think only I can choose to do it.

My friend and I are supposed to go out together one weekend and hit up all the restaurants we love and order whatever we want and just enjoy and eat everything we've been terrified to. It's like a binge day together, only the rule is that there's no throwing up, no purging. Just support, I guess. It's not the healthiest idea but I want it so bad. It's more terrifying and thrilling then getting a tattoo or piercing or riding a roller coaster for me. The most terrifying thing is food.