We went out to eat today at Chili's. My mom kept saying I didn't have to go if I didn't want to, she kept asking if I was even going to eat and I kept saying I was. I went and got their "lettuce wraps" (330 cals) and ate about half of that with my water. I sat there and took deep breaths and chewed my gum, and I felt like crap. And I hated myself at first. And I wanted to purge, and I did...a little. I threw up a mouthfull, spat it out, and stopped myself. I came home, and I haven't gained or anything and you know what, it's okay.

I think I'm so much closer to mastering the restaurant than I was even a week ago. It still seems pathetic, but I'm really doing a good job, I think. And, I resisted the urge to exercise. I still am but I'm going to go take a bath and read and just relax with some tea. Pheeeeeew.